How To Do It All (spoiler- you can't)

I know I've said it before but I am no perfect housewife.. not even close. I know I know pick your jaw up off the floor. Although I am always more than grateful for encouraging comments, I often cringe when someone asks me how I do it all. People in my real life certainly don't think I do it all. Oh, if only you knew how little of "it all" I actually do.

I don't always get dressed or even put on a bra for the day. I still haven't hung everything up in our house. I am terrible at figuring out what to make for lunch. I have cut back on how often I blog. I leave 5ohBaby's playroom a mess all day and only clean it up at night sometimes. i often go too long without contacting friends. And once I even came into the kitchen to find 5ohBaby had taken her shirt off and was eating yogurt on top of the table.

Gross 5ohBaby... just gross.

Lately I have been seeking the answer to how other mom's I look up to do it all. I've asked my sisters, my mom, my mother in law, friends, bloggy friends, other moms...and you know what? I've actually found out the answer.

THEY DON'T.


Nope, not one person I have asked actually "does it all". Surprisingly, LOTS of the women get help. One of my friends has her mother come over and do her laundry while watching her son so she can do the rest of the house cleaning and take care of other things ok wait, how do I get someone to always do my laundry? One of the women I asked told me she has a maid service secretly come do the deep cleaning every 2 weeks. One friend has a babysitting co-op where each week she takes her kids and a friends kids for 4 hours and the next day her friend takes all the kids so they can both get errands done. Some of the women say they just have to choose what things to let fall to the wayside. As one woman told me "There is no way anyone can be expected to clean, shop, cook, write, and shower all during a 2 hour nap time".

Good point, Wendy. Good point.

I know it might sound weird, but I find it incredibly freeing to know that I can't ever catch up and get everything done I need to get done. That there isn't a secret formula where women have perfect children, perfect relationships with their spouses, are great friends, have clean houses and dinner on the table every night at 6. It just doesn't exist and I find the grace in that extremely comforting.

So, I decided that since we are 3000 miles away from family and 5ohHubby has a job that has him working long weird hours, something had to give. So I went and hired a mother's helper.

Her name is Alex and she is a sanity life saver. She comes over one day a week for a few hours and plays with 5ohBaby. Thats all. I can run errands or clean the house or write a blog post or do laundry or just sit in a quiet room alone. 5ohBaby just adores her! The minute she comes over 5ohBaby yells "Ah-ly" gives her a hug and waves "bye-bye mommmmmyyyyy". It has been worth every single penny spent to have her around and she even babysits for date night once every two weeks.

So, I want to encourage you all. YOU are a good mother and a good wife and a good friend. You are. That woman you think has it all together? She doesn't and its ok. You don't have to either. There is NO shame in it. Please please give yourself a little break and let someone else help you.

Grace. Grace. Grace.